Today, I was sitting in the hairdressers and an awkward
silence descended. I say it was awkward but not for me because I welcome a bit
of “me” time for self-reflection. However, the sudden peace was probably a bit
uncomfortable for the woman who cuts my hair as I know how much ladies enjoy a
good chat (not being sexist, it’s a basic fact). I was aware of this and tried
to strike up a conversation but that wasn’t a good idea because I can’t keep my
head still when talking (far from wise when scissors are that close to your
ears). So, I decided to shut up and get out of there.
What kind of normal human being (I know I’m not normal in
the classic sense) gets butterflies before going for a mundane event such as
getting a haircut? The answer is that I do. It’s not just then but basically
all times that I have to speak to people, other than family and friends. I have
spoke about how my condition affects my speech in a previous post but that’s
not the only reason I don’t like conversing with other people. For some unknown
reason, my brain struggles to think of sentences to say so I go from writing in
an engaging manner to speaking monosyllabic rubbish.
I don’t do this on purpose and it’s actually quite
embarrassing. For example, my stylist (I go to a salon because I’m metrosexual
and proud) asked if I liked my hair to which I replied “yes, good” as if I was
a caveman. That wasn’t too bad but then I mentioned the holiday and instead of
sharing an interesting anecdote, I continued to describe the break as “nice”
and “much needed”. I really don’t help myself in terms of strangers thinking
I’m special and addressing me in a patronising way. Especially as the only
subject I truly engage in and can speak endlessly about is football.
Perhaps it would be easier to go back to a good old barbers
conversation wise but like I said, I’d rather not speak when getting my hair done,
as it’s safer. A salon may be more expensive but it’s worth it. For men, the
options are to get your haircut surrounded by sweaty builders or surrounded by
beautiful woman. Easy choice for me but if you still think it’s gay, I respect
your logic in reaching that conclusion. I just wanted to make that point so
that there is no confusion, as I know people find pleasure in having
stereotypes.
Basically, conversation is something you get better at. I’m
obviously just a late developer in that respect and haven’t mastered the art
yet. I know that it will improve with time and I just need people to be patient
with me. If I go silent, I’m not trying to be rude and if I say stupid things at
first, don’t dismiss me as being a muppet. Just let me warm up and get into the
conversation so to speak.
Bye for now!
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